Over the last several weeks, since having returned from my vacation, I have found myself thinking, contemplating and otherwise weighing the risks that I was taking, or thinking of taking. And while we all have our paths, journeys and callings, this one seems to be mine. Never in my life has anything captured my awakened senses, begged me to stay or so loudly said, "This is where you need to be."
Maybe it was the turtles, the crazy-warm winter days, the sun setting at the usual January time of 5:30, yet the weather was deceiving into at least a 9pm sunset of July. It was like nothing I had ever experienced or dared to dream. There were moments of awe-inspiring beauty in the architecture, towns and people, but mostly, my inescapable draw can be summarized as "Peace on Earth".
I'm sure that this newly discovered sanctuary could be attributed, by many, to the different expressions of nature, direct experiences soon to be had or romantic ideals long since dreamed of. But frankly, it was so much more than what I can even get my head around these days. My solace was found in the general way of being down there. Not a party atmosphere (although, that does exist in parts) but more or less a general feeling of how I want to live, be perceived, envied and always remembered. She is a free spirit. Moving on the winds of change, yet always landing in the aisles of her heart and resting. Resting. Resting.
From the airplane, I stood atop the stairs and couldn't wait for my feet to touch the blessed tarmac. My intuitive landing gears were down and I knew that there was no control tower to stop my inevitable descent into bliss and insatiable gratitude. I was somewhere I needed to be.
The air circling around me was warm and alive and I quickly shed the scarf and jacket that burdened me through most of the trip. They were no longer needed. My senses aroused and my child-like curiosity was immediately stoked. Already, my heart and spirit felt lighter and full of possibility! What was this place that I had only heard of through song and an occasional recalled story from friends? Why I had been bestowed this amazing opportunity of discovery and gifted with such generosity from yet unmet spirits, were the only two questions that swirled in my head.
I knew the weeks that laid before me were ones to be savored like the variety pack of mystery chocolates. And with blind faith, you pick a piece from the box and taste it. Feeling the texture in its creation, the bursting recollection of past sugar highs and a simmering curiosity for more, I began to understand that this trip was not about simple gratitude and experience, but rather an exercise in being 'still'. To not seek out the answers, but rather in the quiet, let the questions find you. I already had all the answers. Its like Jeopardy, the answer was in the question.
As each divinely crafted day unfolded itself to me, I was at a loss for words at every turn. Indescribable! Inconceivable! I saw myself simply observing, absorbing yet quietly turning the pages of my own heart's story. Making sure not to spoil any endings, my excitement and bliss remained in check and only upon thorough mastication of the day, did I dare to spoil the bite. I was certainly hungry.
I found myself sailing upon the oceans, taking the look for sharks and changing my every attitude thus far constructed. And for my analytical self, it would seem that 31 years could have presented me a monumental task. It could have been a bit daunting, the initial inquiry. But as the favorable gulf winds of the Florida Keys would have it, all those cares, past burdens, political indigestion and social ills had started to heal from my mind and I was quickly swept away by more than just the equatorial sun.
Some could say it was the beauty of the land, the perma-vacation mindsets of the inhabitants, the fireworks across the waters on New Year's, but I say it was the simple simplicity in the everyday life that most inspired and caught the attention of my wandering spirit.
The fiery Arian spirit that had before since ruled my soul and created me who I then was, was also seeking this place to land and restore to health my wearied noodle. To rest the soul's wings and regenerate any feathers singed through the passing of Dante's described gates of lost hope and spiritual stagnation, was my calling. I felt free from the thought that bound and dragged me down, past the reaches of the sun's light. The cries, with ever primitive passion, from the dolphins and the inquisitive gazes from the sea turtles reached me and carried me back safely into the shallow waters of serenity. I was laying in the prevailing winds of my own passive thoughts. It was sweeping over me and consuming my physical self with rejuvenating illumination never before experienced. However its brightness, I was not squinting or feeling the burn of its rays. I was enveloped and receptive to fully experience the passing hour of its magnificence.
The days passed over and the nights were filled with dancing images and vivid playback of digitally mastered manifestation. Each morning was met with new vitality and an eagerness to 'be' in this new found place… in me. I was swimming wild through a world all my own and catching each breath on the surface with magical creatures, bound to their own cells, the ocean. I knew that I was not alone. However high their own aspirations, I am there with them. However deep I wish to submerge myself in my own darkness, I know they will keep me safe and guide me home. They are there.
These creatures, the sea turtle and the dolphin, in exchange for their selflessness in teaching and willingness to guide me out of rough waters, have called me to help and serve them. To restore to health their ailing bodies and release them back to the comfort and serenity of their own home, I feel I must in some way, provide them with equal comfort and compassion.
I have been called to a land, though eleven-hundred and ninety-two miles from Story Avenue, remains ever present in my mind, as if it truly were only yesterday and for certain my foreseeable tomorrows. It is today that gets me there.
